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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22421671">Choke the Chicken</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel'>killerweasel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Silly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:15:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22421671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Not exactly what it says on the tin.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Choke the Chicken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="inner">
<p></p><div class="entry-content"><p>Title: Choke the Chicken<br/>
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)<br/>
Characters: Gabriel, Beelzebub<br/>
Pairings: Gabriel/Beelzebub<br/>
Word Count: 350<br/>
Rating: G<br/>
A/N: After Episode 6.<br/>
Summary: Not exactly what it says on the tin.</p><p>
      <a id="cutid1" name="cutid1"></a>
    </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Look at this human toy Aziraphale gave to me." He held out a bright orange bird wearing sunglasses and a bathing suit. "Crowley told me to show it to you."</p><p>Beelzebub's eyes narrowed. She knew it had to be some sort of trick, it usually was when one or both of the traitors were involved, but the thing seemed relatively harmless. "Izzz it some sort of bird?"</p><p>"I think it's a plastic chicken. But I haven't shown you the best part. It makes a noise when you squeeze." Gabriel squeezed the chicken in the middle and it made a horrible sound. When Beelzebub failed to be impressed, he squeezed it a few more times, with each sound being louder than the last. "Isn't it great?"</p><p>"I'm not zzzzure 'great' is the word I'm thinking of." The noise was awful and incredibly annoying. It was the sort of sound which could almost pierce through a person's head. One or two squeezes of the chicken wasn't bad. Constant squeezing, however, was enough to drive someone insane. A tiny smile crossed Beelzebub's lips. This was the sort of thing you gave to the children of people you didn't like or to a dog so it could drive the owner crazy. It was both the worst and best thing ever. It had to be a human creation. No demon would be creative enough to come up with something like that.</p><p>Beelzebub watched in amusement as Gabriel continued to play with the chicken. It had been a while since she'd seen the Archangel fascinated by anything humans came up with. "Gabriel." He couldn't hear her over the sound of the screaming chicken. She tried again, adding a bit of demonic force into her voice. "Gabriel!" He blinked at her. "Azzz much as I enjoy watching you choke your chicken, give it a rezzzt before we both go deaf."</p><p>"Oh." The innuendo went right over his head, as Beelzebub expected. "But I can keep it, right?"</p><p>The thought of Gabriel playing with the chicken up in Heaven, driving everyone bonkers, filled Beelzebub with glee. "Of course."</p></div></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I picked up these toys for my dog (https://youtu.be/EFaYkuyFrR0) and they turned out to be the most annoying thing in the universe. On the plus side, I always know where he is in the house when he has one.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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